She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
