we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
