I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
