Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
