I can tuck mytits in my pants
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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