ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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