All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
