apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize