you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We are all done wearing pants today
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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