I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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