I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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