Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
