I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
