i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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