When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
