just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
