you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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