yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
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Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
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He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
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