Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
