Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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