Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My breasts were aching with rage.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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