Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
