Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
