One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
