Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
