I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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