just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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