Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
fuck your aforementioned shoe
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Randomize
Follow @tfln