it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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