i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
