I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.