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• (619): View more from California

  Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now

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• (646): View more from New York

  Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.

  (352): View more from Florida

  teach me your ways.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.

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• (925): View more from California

  You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I'd cum for enchiladas.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.

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