Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today. http://tfl.nu/sil6
  Replies (10) Good night (10915) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha how do you remember that?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  HOW COULD I FORGET?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later. (1-717): Haha how do you remember that? (717): HOW COULD I FORGET?! http://tfl.nu/ylr0
  Replies (39) Good night (5612) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town

  (1-213): View more from California

  well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town (1-213): well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT http://tfl.nu/kbwd
  Replies (14) Good night (966) Bad night (6079)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked. http://tfl.nu/k09k
  Replies (12) Good night (4807) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking. http://tfl.nu/ymvd
  Replies (52) Good night (3903) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it. http://tfl.nu/0g8l
  Replies (45) Good night (1082) Bad night (9763)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES. http://tfl.nu/ydba
  Replies (11) Good night (5493) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/2knl
  Replies (11) Good night (3696) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad. http://tfl.nu/6faf
  Replies (8) Good night (4581) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon http://tfl.nu/v008
  Replies (10) Good night (1281) Bad night (2081)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays. http://tfl.nu/ol44
  Replies (7) Good night (2986) Bad night (1319)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become? http://tfl.nu/ygut
  Replies (6) Good night (1507) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN. http://tfl.nu/l8um
  Replies (10) Good night (2003) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on http://tfl.nu/1fwc
  Replies (5) Good night (1593) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm http://tfl.nu/kthz
  Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (297)

Randomize