I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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