eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just cropdusted the office
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
