He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
pray to the hookup gods
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
