In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
