he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
