I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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