farters have to be the big spoon...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
