So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
