I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
