Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
