I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
