apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
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The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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