its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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