no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
