I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
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