look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
