oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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