Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
