you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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