I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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