there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
