she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Can I color on your dick again?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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