Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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