We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Randomize
