My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
