NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
