Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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