Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize