I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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