Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
