If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
