am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
