college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
time to smoke my breakfast
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
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He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
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They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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