I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Boobs speak an international language.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
