I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
