So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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