Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
