i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
