I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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