ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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