bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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